More about me, I guess

Two posts in two days! It's partially that this is oddly addictive and partially that just one poem doesn't seem to really represent my life. So here's another one. About me, even.

The I I want to be
Would you understand
If I ever said,
“those childish moments you laugh and ridicule,
Those instances of glee,
The glimpses where I seem not quite me
Those are what I fight for,
That to which I cling.”

Would you ever listen
while I went on,
“I know life’s horrors, dark hours,
Weeks of tears and mourn
Don’t think I haven’t lived there too
Know me rather as a frequent visitor,
One with favored paths and common trips.”

Would you then see,
The moments of glee,
The delight and wonder:
That I revel in these not to forget,
Not to negate
But as a runner, struggling to breathe,
They the images of the goal towards which I strive

Those glimpses where I seem not quite me,
Not denial, But pursuit
For I have decided
The darkness may not be
All that I know, not
The theme of my life, not
The reality I cannot escape.

Would you understand then
That these are my choice and treasure
That each smile
Is one more statement
A declaration of who I mean to be
Victory over who I will not become
I laugh, I giggle, and I go on:

Ever more the I I want to be.

Written 2/27/06